


Slow to Heal

by smarshtastic



Series: Let Ana F*ck [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/M, Porn with Feelings, Post-Recall, Reunions, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 10:07:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16344755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smarshtastic/pseuds/smarshtastic
Summary: “I thought you quit smoking, Jesse,” Ana says, stepping out of the shadows. She sees the red end of the cigar glowing in the darkness.“I thought you were dead, ma’am,” Jesse replies.---Ana reunites with Jesse after the Recall.





	Slow to Heal

**Author's Note:**

> This is the last piece I have prepared for [Let Ana F*ck]() Week! It's Day 6: Helping/Hurting, and I can't help but wonder how Ana told everyone she's not actually dead.
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](wictorwictor.tumblr.com) and [twitter](twitter.com/smarshtastic)!

Many things about the recall surprised Ana. The recall itself, of course, was unprecedented – Overwatch’s good name had long since been dragged through the mud, its reputation in shambles. They had lost many, many good people in the explosion at the Swiss base, and many more in the intervening years. The number of agents who answered the call was surprising to Ana. A few agents she remembered fondly, and there were a few who Ana didn’t expect to see ever again.

Among the latter group was Jesse McCree.

Even before Ana faked her own death, she knew that Jesse was having a hard time with his position in Blackwatch. Jesse desperately wanted to make amends for his past, to put some good back in the world. Gabriel had given him a second chance to do so and Jesse had risen to the occasion beautifully. Ana had watched proudly as Jesse blossomed into the strong, capable agent who became Blackwatch’s second-in-command. But it wasn’t easy for him. Ana didn’t know all the details of Jesse’s work in Blackwatch – Gabriel kept Blackwatch’s mission parameters close to the chest – but she saw the toll it took on Jesse. He worked hard, endlessly. On the rare occasions that his and Ana’s time off coincided, Ana would invite him for tea like she used to do when they were younger, and Jesse would express his doubts and worries in a roundabout way. He never said much. He didn’t like to worry her. But Ana could see the burden of his work weighing heavily on him. When she brought it to Gabriel’s attention shortly before she took herself out of the game, Gabriel had sighed, deflated.

“I know, Ana,” Gabriel had said. His eyes had looked more sunken, darker, almost defeated. “I’m trying to make it right.”

Gabriel and Jesse had been together at that point, and had been for a long time. Ana believed that Gabriel cared deeply for Jesse – never in her life had she seen Gabriel so fiercely protective, so wholly smitten or affectionate with any other person than he was with Jesse. It was a sight to see; their love for each other brought both of them out of their shells in a way that Ana could never have anticipated. So it was a shock later on, when she heard from various sources, that Jesse had left Blackwatch and, presumably, Gabriel.

It certainly cast what Ana knew of the explosion of the Swiss base in a different light.

But now, assembled at Watchpoint Gibraltar with the other agents who answered the Recall, Ana spots Jesse McCree slouching at the back of the group. He looks older, skinnier, more worn out. He has his hat pulled down low over his face, but Ana would recognize him anywhere. She hesitates instead of approaching him right away. In many ways, she’s not ready to face those she left behind when she “died.” She’s going to have to do it at some point – she knows that. But it doesn’t feel right, not yet. What can she say? How does she explain herself? She was selfish, certainly, but it was more than that. How can she expect any of them to understand?

When Ana finally looks back at Jesse, he has disappeared.

Ana feels strangely disappointed.

That night, she wanders the familiar halls of the base, running her fingers over dusty railings and abandoned lockers. She feels like a ghost, an unsettled spirit back to haunt her old life. It’s strange being back here. She wonders if she made the right decision.

Ana finds herself up on one of the balconies that overlook the water. Technically, nobody is supposed to be up here – it’s an old rule, but now, given the state of disrepair the base is in, it’s more important than ever to stay away from the unkempt and rusting railings. Thick cigar smoke mingles with the sea breeze.

“I thought you quit smoking, Jesse,” Ana says, stepping out of the shadows. She sees the red end of the cigar glowing in the darkness.

“I thought you were dead, ma’am,” Jesse replies. He doesn’t move from his spot in the corner, his legs dangling over the ledge. Another puff of smoke rises over his head.

“Ah,” Ana says, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. “I suppose I should explain myself.”

“Nah,” Jesse says. Ana watches the glowing end of the cigar swing down towards the ground as Jesse snuffs it out before he stands up. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. I get it.”

There’s a note of hurt in his voice, wavering slightly, that makes Ana’s heart ache. She realizes, suddenly, that Jesse has lost far too many people in his life. She made him lose yet another. She swallows. She doesn’t want him to leave, at least not until she’s able to explain herself.

“It’s good to see you,” Ana says, a somewhat weak offering in light of the years that stretch between them. Jesse pauses, tilting his hat back. The silvery moonlight falls across his face; he looks so much older now, so beaten down. There’s an unmistakable sadness in his eyes. Ana takes a step forward.

“It’s been a while,” Jesse says, his dark eyes inscrutable in the moonlight.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” Ana says.

“Could say the same about you,” Jesse points out. 

Ana lets out a little laugh. She closes the distance between them and folds her arms around Jesse’s broad shoulders. She feels him stiffen for a moment, as if resisting her touch, but then his arms come up and hug her tight, bending low so his head is tucked into the crook of her neck. She can smell the smoke and sweat on his clothes – it’s warm and familiar. Ana missed him.

“I thought I was seein’ ghosts again,” Jesse says quietly, almost too quiet to hear. Ana squeezes him tighter.

“Not this time, Jesse.”

“I’m… I’m real glad.”

“It’s good to see you,” Ana says again, slightly muffled. She feels Jesse lean his cheek against her head.

“It’s good to see you too, Ana.”

Ana pulls back just enough to look up at Jesse. He’s always been taller than her, but she feels dwarfed by him now, even without the bulk he built up in Blackwatch. He meets her gaze, his eyes sad and wondering. One of his hands comes up to cup her cheek. His thumb strokes gently over her skin as his eyes search her face. Ana holds still, letting him trace the lines that have creased her flesh over the last several years. The tip of his thumb brushes the edge of the patch she wears over what’s left of her damaged eye.

“It’s really you?” he asks, that wavering note in his voice again. Ana nods.

“It’s me, Jesse.”

Jesse ducks forward, his hand sliding under Ana’s chin and tilting her face up to his. His lips – dry and chapped – press hard against Ana’s. She makes a small surprised noise, but it’s not unpleasant. She lets Jesse kiss her, holding him against her body, unexpectedly enjoying the closeness, the intimacy. He tastes like his cigars. She lets her eyes slide closed.

Jesse pulls away first. 

“Sorry,” he says gruffly. “I don’t mean to be forward. I just…” He trails off and shakes his head, looking away. Ana carefully, gently reaches back up to turn Jesse’s face back to her.

“You don’t need to apologize to me, Jesse,” she says. Jesse exhales. Ana can still smell the smoke on his breath. He’s holding her, one of his palms splayed against the small of her back. Ana makes a decision. She stands on her toes and presses a small, sweet kiss of her own to Jesse’s mouth. His fingers tighten in the fabric at the small of her back and he returns her kiss, his lips parting to sweep his tongue into Ana’s mouth. She gives herself up to it. It’s been so long since she’s been close with someone, allowed someone to hold her and kiss her - there’s something about the way that Jesse kisses her that makes Ana feel whole in a way that she hasn’t felt in years.

“I don’t… I don’t want to be alone tonight,” Jesse says against her mouth.

“Stay with me,” Ana says. “Stay with me, Jesse.”

Jesse follows Ana back to the quarters she’s claimed for herself while she stays at the watchpoint. There’s still a touch of hesitation in his movements; out of the corner of her eye, Ana spots him staring at her almost wondrously, disbelievingly. He catches the hem of her scarf, rubbing the fabric between his fingers, letting it spill through his hand.

“It’s really you,” he says, almost to himself. Ana nods, but doesn’t say anything. Slowly, carefully, Jesse unwinds the scarf from Ana’s head, meeting her eyes as if to make sure he’s allowed. Ana nods again, reaching up to unpin the folds of her scarf so he can pull it free. He lets to drop to the floor as he takes Ana’s thick braid in his hands. His touch is so gentle it makes Ana’s heart ache. He leans in again, his hand sliding behind Ana’s head and bringing her in for a kiss.

Ana melts into his arms. It’s been years since she’s allowed herself such closeness, such intimacy; she had fooled herself into thinking she didn’t need it. But here, with Jesse holding her close, his touches reverent and grounding, she realizes what a fool she has been. She lets her own hands slide up Jesse’s arms, feeling the lean muscle under the layers of his clothes. Her fingers trip over the seam where flesh meets metal, but she keeps her hands moving. He’s too skinny – he hasn’t been taking care of himself. His chest, still broad, but sunken, heaves under her fingers. She’s not sure if she’s imagining that she can feel the ribs under the lean layer of muscle. Her fingers pluck open the buttons of his shirt, but she pauses.

“It’s alright,” Jesse murmurs against her mouth. He tips his head to the side and presses a warm, soft kiss against the curve of Ana’s jaw. Ana exhales, her eyes fluttering closed. He keeps kissing along her jaw, his mouth warm and just a little rough against her neck, his hand cupping the back of her head. She unbuttons his shirt carefully, slowly, until she’s finally able to slide her hands over his bare skin.

His chest is scarred – she can feel the striations under her palms, the raw, raised skin interrupting his chest hair. But Jesse’s skin is warm, alive, real. Ana wants to soak up the feeling, revel in it. She pushes his shirt off his shoulders and he steps back after a moment to shrug out of it, letting it fall carelessly to the floor. Jesse stands there for a moment, eyes searching Ana’s face, his bare chest illuminated by the soft light overhead.

“You don’t have to stay,” Ana finds herself saying. She must give Jesse the choice; he should make the decision for himself to stay with her. So much has been taken from him already, and Ana would be loath to contribute to his losses.

“I want to,” Jesse says. He steps in close again, his metal hand wrapping around Ana’s slim waist and pulling her in. His grip is strong but Ana can feel the give in it, as if he’s afraid of holding her too close. “But if you want me to go…”

“I don’t,” Ana admits, her voice soft, almost embarrassed. “I want you to stay.”

Jesse ducks his head to kiss her. “Then I’ll stay,” he says against her mouth.

They end up on Ana’s bed, which is uncharacteristically messy and unmade. She’s scrounged blankets from where she can find them, hopeful that they’re relatively clean, but she hasn’t bothered making her quarters – temporary as they may be – her own.

Jesse presses Ana down onto the jumble of blankets gently, his big hands strong yet gentle. He holds himself up with one hand, hovering over her as he kisses her. Each kiss is deep, lingering, full of feeling. He kisses like a drowning man, as if he’s starved for the feeling. Ana supposes she is starved for it too. She loops her arms around Jesse’s shoulders to keep him close, to keep his lips on her own. She wants to drag him in closer and feel his weight pressing her body down into the thin mattress, but she’s cognizant of the delicate balance between them. She doesn’t want to push Jesse too far. For as much as she wants the physicality of Jesse being close to her, she wants even more for Jesse to simply be okay.

Ana can feel her hair unspooling from her braid as Jesse’s right hand cups the side of her head, his fingers grasping in the strands, which rapidly begin to come loose from their confines. Jesse doesn’t seem to mind, though; he shifts slightly, pressing his face into the tangled nest of hair, breathing in her scent. It sends a thrill down Ana’s spine. He kisses over her neck again, down her throat, pausing at the bony peaks of her collarbone, his breath warm and damp against the fabric that rests there.

There’s a moment of hesitation in which Jesse leans back, pushing himself up so that he sits on his heels, looking down at Ana practically sprawled beneath him. She meets his gaze, aware of breathing that’s coming quickly, her lips parted, still tasting his stale, smoky flavor on his tongue. He traces a finger from the hollow of her throat, down between her breasts.

“May I…?” he starts to ask, then stops. Jesse lifts his eyes from where he was following the path of his finger to look Ana in the eye.

“Please,” Ana says with a nod. Jesse lets his breath out.

“Okay,” he says, half to himself. With great care, he strips Ana out of her clothes, pausing every so often to kiss her sweetly, as if to make sure that each movement was still okay. Ana is touched by his thoughtfulness; he’s always been surprisingly considerate, though Ana never fathomed that his care would manifest in this way, towards her.

Even when she’s finally naked, her clothes in a pile on the floor next to the bed, Ana doesn’t feel exposed. Her body is something she’s proud of – it has seen her through war, through childbirth, through near-death and back again – and Jesse, sweet Jesse, gazes down at her with a reverence that doesn’t ring falsely. He scrambles up to kick off the remainder of his clothes. The light illuminates his skin, tanned golden and taut, except where his left arm ends abruptly in metal. He catches Ana’s gaze, his right hand coming up to grasp the seam between flesh and metal, the self-consciousness bubbling to the surface.

“If it bothers you –” he starts to say. Ana shakes her head and reaches up to him.

“Not at all,” she says. “Does it hurt?”

Jesse shrugs, letting Ana pull him back down to the bed. “Not so much anymore.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Jesse stretches back over Ana and drops a kiss between her breasts. His chapped lips feel wonderfully rough against her sensitive skin. Ana lets her eyes slide closed.

Jesse works his mouth down Ana’s chest, her stomach, the tops of her thighs. Each kiss is surprisingly gentle in spite of the roughness of his lips. His hands push her thighs apart gently, his thumbs pressing against the fleshy part of her inner thighs. Ana lifts her head to see Jesse peering up at her.

“Can I?” he asks. Ana reaches down and pushes his long, unkempt hair off of his forehead.

“Whatever you’d like,” she says, her voice coming out slightly breathier than she means it to. She can already feel the heat pooling between her legs, Jesse’s touches wonderfully intimate and sensual. It’s been so long since anyone touched her like this – Ana wonders, again, why she deprived herself for so long.

Jesse ducks his head back down, his lips finding their way along the inside of Ana’s thighs. His hands hold her thighs open, keeping her in place, his fingers of his flesh hand massaging the muscles under her thin skin lightly. His metal hand doesn’t move, though it rests heavy and gentle on her other leg. Ana finds she rather likes the weight of it. His lips find the crease where her leg meets her hip, his warm breath lightly whispering through her pubic hair. He nuzzles into it, breathing in her scent, rubbing his scraggly cheek against her own hair. He moves down between her lips, his mouth hot and damp against her tender skin. Ana feels her breath pick up. Then Jesse presses his face in, his tongue sliding out in one long lap over the outer folds of her pussy.

Ana exhales in a sigh. Her hand finds its way into Jesse’s hair again, alternately stroking and clutching at it as his mouth envelops her. His tongue slides against the outside of her pussy, making her slick with his saliva and her own growing wetness. Jesse moves his hands to spread her open to get even closer. Ana gasps as his tongue dips inside of her. He curls it inside of her as he drags it back out, slowly, as if savoring the taste. His laps back up over her lips until he closes his lips around her clit and sucks lightly. Ana squirms and arches up into his mouth. Jesse holds her steady, his thumbs holding her open as his lips and tongue move across her clit. It makes her toes curl, her thighs shake.

Jesse doesn’t let up. Instead, he presses his face in even closer, his mouth making sloppy, wet sounds against her pussy as he eats her out. She can feel his facial hair scratching along the inside of her thighs, but the contrast is delightful. His tongue slides against her clit, the rough surface making her whole body shake, before he dips it inside of her again. When he withdraws his tongue, he slides a finger from his right hand into her pussy, crooking it just slightly to rub against the spongy spot just inside as he sucks on her clit. A soft moan rises from her throat, taking her by surprise. Jesse moans against her in response. The vibrations go right up her spine. Ana arches into the touch. Her whole body is shaking now; she feels deliciously open, spread out on Jesse’s tongue and fingers. She can feel her own slick trickling down Jesse’s chin. He doesn’t stop, putting more pressure on her clit, sliding another finger inside of her, moaning right up against her pussy. Ana thrashes under him as her pleasure crests. She tugs on Jesse’s hair – more sharply than she means to, but it doesn’t seem to deter him – as she cries out.

“Jesse – Jesse, oh, Jesse –” she gasps. Her voice wavers and breaks as Jesse draws the orgasm out of her, fingering her through it though he lifts his head to watch her face. There’s a brightness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before, a curl to his shiny, wet lips that makes Ana shiver even as her orgasm subsides. His fingers are still moving inside of her lazily.

“Good?” he asks. His chest rises and falls with quick breaths, a flush spread across it under his chest hair. Ana can see his erection jutting out against his thigh. She reaches out.

“Very,” she says, and then is surprised by how breathy her voice sounds.

“It’s been awhile,” Jesse says, almost sheepishly. Ana smiles.

“Me too,” she says. She feels young again. She laughs a little. “Come here, Jesse. Let me feel you.”

Jesse lets Ana tug him down to the bed, his fingers sliding out of Ana’s pussy with a slick sound. He catches himself with his left arm, but Ana keeps tugging him until she can feel the length of his body – hot, covered in a light sheen of sweat, strong – pressed up against hers. She gets a hand between them and wraps her fingers around his cock. He’s thick, substantial. He twitches in her palm. Her mouth waters.

“Let me feel you,” Ana says again, squirming underneath Jesse, parting her legs to give him room. Jesse scans her face.

“Yeah?”

“Please?”

“Yeah,” Jesse says. He crushes his mouth to Ana’s with surprising force. She can taste herself on his lips. She gasps into his mouth and feels his tongue sweep inside of her mouth. Ana tips her head back, letting him take what he needs. The blunt tip of his cock bumps up against the inside of her thigh. She guides his cock to rub up against her pussy, still soaking with her juices and Jesse’s saliva. He shudders, his hips twitching forward, but evidently trying to contain himself. Ana tilts her hips up and finally Jesse sinks into her, his thick girth filling her up so completely that she forgets to breathe for a moment. She feels her pussy clench around him, as if she could get him any deeper. “Oh – fuck.”

Ana reaches up with both hands and smooths Jesse’s hair away from his forehead, where a few strands still stick in his sweat.

“Jesse,” she breathes. “More.”

Jesse pushes himself up and takes Ana’s hips in both hands. He rises onto his knees, lifting her up as he does so. Ana goes pliant in his grip, watching the way his muscles move under his skin, enjoying the way she feels so light in his hands. Jesse’s chin is tipped down, focused on where his cock disappears into Ana’s pussy. He starts fucking into her in earnest – he doesn’t hold back. He knows she can take it. Ana loves feeling his full strength as he slams into her, his cock driving in deep, skating against her sensitive spots as he pulls out nearly all the way before he tugs on her hips to meet his own with his next thrust. His hair once again falls into his face. A bead of sweat trails down a lock of hair and drips on Ana’s stomach.

“Yes, Jesse, just like that – oh yes,” Ana finds herself saying. She can’t do much other than let Jesse fuck into her, to take what he needs, but he’s such an attentive lover that nothing about it is selfish. He holds her up with his metal hand while his right thumb finds her clit again, rubbing circles until Ana’s toes curl. “Jesse!”

Jesse fucks her through her orgasm, though his thumb doesn’t stop moving against her clit even as Ana goes twitchy and oversensitive. She feels dizzy, almost delirious. It’s a release she hasn’t had in a long time.

Jesse’s soft breaths go more ragged. He grunts as he hunches over her, lowering her to the mattress. His thrusts are more erratic. Ana does her best to keep moving with his rhythm.

“Like that – just like that, oh Jesse,” Ana says softly. She slides her hand around the small of his back, her fingers slipping in the sweat that pools in the curve of his spine. She digs her fingers into the flesh of his ass, pulling him in closer. “Like that, Jesse, yes –”

Jesse slams into her, his arms shaking before they give out. Ana feels his cock twitch inside of her, the hot trickle of his come as it leaks out of her and down over her ass. Jesse presses his face into the crook of her neck, his breath coming hot and quick. He doesn’t move for several long moments, his cock still buried inside of her. She wraps her arms around him and holds him close, one hand stroking through the damp hair sticking to the back of his neck. She can feel his heart thumping through his chest.

Eventually, Jesse comes back to himself and carefully rolls to the side. His soft cock slips free and Ana can feel the gush of come between her legs. Jesse offers to get her a damp cloth or something to clean up, but she refuses.

“Just lie here with me?” she asks, almost tentatively. She doesn’t know what to expect, now; this certainly isn’t how she imagined their reunion would go, and she’s having doubts again. But Jesse gathers Ana up into his arms and they lie there, tangled in each other’s limbs as their sweat cools on their skin.

At some point, Ana reaches over to the nightstand to flick off the lights and then resettles in Jesse’s arms, enjoying the closeness. She feels Jesse turn his face into her hair and breathe in the smell. She wonders if Jesse ever sought comfort in the arms of strangers after he left Blackwatch, after he left Gabe; even if he did, she can’t imagine that it ever felt like this. It was different, to be with someone you knew well, someone who had seen you at your best and worst. Even though Ana had never thought that Jesse would be the one to offer her such comfort, it feels fitting now, somehow.

“Why are you here, Ana?” Jesse asks into the darkness, so quiet as to barely be heard. Ana doesn’t answer immediately, focused on Jesse’s steady hand as it strokes gently up and down her arm.

“We’ve lost a lot of people,” Ana says finally. She feels Jesse stiffen slightly, his hand jumping against her arm before it resumes its slow, steady path. “I suppose I’d like to put it all to rest.”

“Yeah,” Jesse says after a long pause of his own. There’s a thickness to his voice – held back emotion, perhaps? – that makes the word stick in his throat.

“And you?”

“Ah,” Jesse exhales. She feels his chest deflate under her cheek. “Well, I guess I’ve gotten a lot of chances in my life to make things right. I can’t let this one slip by me without trying, you know?”

Ana turns her head to press a kiss into the soft hair covering Jesse’s chest. “I do.”

“Ana?”

“Mm?”

“D’you… Do you think there’s any chance…” Jesse trails off, the question left unfinished, though Ana could guess what he intended to ask.

“These days, Jesse, anything is possible,” she says.

Jesse doesn’t say anything else. They lapse into a thoughtful silence that turns into a deep sleep, neither of them stirring until the light peeks in through the window early in the morning. There’s no awkwardness between them in the light of day. Jesse kisses Ana’s cheek before he takes his leave, giving her a smile that even reaches his still-tired eyes.

Ana doesn’t mean to leave without saying goodbye. She meant to stick around longer, to help out where she can. But rumors are swirling about a vigilante with a particular kind of gun, and suddenly all of those possibilities are more real than she could have ever hoped to imagine. She has to go see for herself.

Jesse, she thinks – she  _ hopes _ – will understand. 


End file.
